We were at our local Rite Aid, buying this and that, looking at the already insanely stocked Valentine's Day displays and Spider-Man mask chocolates in heart boxes.
Then we go to checkout. The prim middle-aged lady with the gigantic glasses and sensible shoes in front of us is returning one of these:
It's an Acu Vibe "personal massager," available at the "health" section of Rite Aid.She says to the clerk,
"Yes, I'd like to return this; it didn't work the way I wanted it to."
"What exactly was the problem?"
"It didn't work the way I wanted it to."
The clerk looks skeptically at the box, which has apparently been torn open at the edges. The lady pokes at the soft part of the massager to make her point.
"Was a part broken," the clerk asks.
"It didn't work the way I wanted it to."
"...I'm not sure we can accept returns on these."
"It didn't work the way I wanted it to."
"Do you have a receipt?"
"No."
"..."
"It just didn't work the way I wanted to."
You know, back when I was a kid, the only "respectable" place you could get these "personal massagers" were in those Fingerhut-type catalogs. But now traditional "big box" drug stores have totally embraced this market.
As a side note, you can get these awesome Valentine's Day toy cellphones with candy inside and buttons that really beep. But something tells me I'm getting the Spider-Man mask chocolates.
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