Akam vs. Eric Bischoff
Joe: I think we both know how this final goes down. They square off, and then the music hits. Who’s that coming down the aisle? It’s Lukewarm Jonah, and he knocks both their asses out with a single punch. Mind you, not a punch for each of them, but a single punch that knocks them both out in one fell swoop. Agreed?
Jonah: Yeah I was going to assume that Akam hurt his knee on the way down and needed me to step in, but I can also knock two people out with one punch. The only fight I ever lost was against six or seven guys, so I’m pretty sure I got these two in the bag. Though in my defense, that wasn’t exactly a fight as much as it was six or seven guys surrounding and jumping me and trying to abduct me. I was good enough to avoid being put in a van, I’m good enough to take down one geriatric man. Also, there’s an article about Eric Bischoff where he talks about how rusty his karate skills are. It’s a first round knockout for Lukewarm Jonah, Best In The World, Best Brawler In The World. I celebrate by pulling a Pop Tart out of my fanny pack and eat it over Eric Bischoff’s unconscious body as his grandkids cry.
Joe: I’m...uh...yeah, I got nothing.
Jonah: Let me wrap it up for you, I think we’ve all learned an important lesson. Booking Brawl For It All can make anyone crazy. I don’t think I can actually apologize to Vince Russo, but maybe I understand a little.
Joe: Yeah, and I finally just want to put out there that Eric Bischoff would get annihilated by any of the other 15 guys in this tournament, but it’s just way more fun that he made it to the finals. I needed that on the record so I at least have a claim that I still have my sanity.
Semifinals
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